rod

today we went bed shopping. this will be the first official thing that we both buy together for our new home in boston. this whole day led me to think about all kinds of diffarent things about this. i called my mom to consult about bed sizes and what not and she said well, it depends on how long you are planing to be there. as in saying it depends on how long you are planing to stay in the US. i dident think about it right then but it seems that i am the only person who thinks i am here for good. i dont ever want to leave here. i moved here out of choice, to try and make it for my self. true i am spending all of not my money to get around have no job and prospects dont look to good. but this is where i want to be. not boston in particular but one of any number of nice places in the US i would like to live for the rest of my misarble life as long as it lasts (my life or the US). another thing i guess all this official shipping made me think about is that this is really building a foundation. anything from now on is here to stay and will go on with us from now on. a bed, a knife sharpener. it also led me to think about again about photographing, and why i am not yet out there shooting. its friday today and its friday night now. i want to go out. i miss going out, and here you can go out and not come back smelling like a burning torch. maybe we will go our later.

i felt today that i have tess's full cooperation in this, with the decision making and it made me feel so secure about how stuff will work out, that all the other how will we... questions about the future kinda dissapeared leaving only the how will we.. questions about the NOW with i am still strugelling with, like school and work. again i am thinking about joes show and how he seems like he has it all nailed down it might be simple but he knows what he is doing. i would not be surprised to see his book printed in 5000 copies while i still chase 10$ around on ebay bullshit.