combustion

today, my toaster cought on fire while warming up my dinner.

it was alrming for a second but i quickly got on top of my sences and used a metal pan to cover the fire, only after i had pulled out my slightly seard food. the fumes of the burnt oil and teflon made me sick, i could beel every breath and my head is still spinnig a bit.

but all this made think of this great fact:

i have gone back to live like i did when i was in bsotn. with my non existant analy clean over orgenized roomate who was never there but alwyas somehew manged to rearange all the kitchen utencils after i have used the past night.

when i lived a long busy day, returned only to make a single served dinner, with a fresh salad and a component of some frozen food. reading the news on my laptop in the kitchen table and washing the dishes whilst scooping icecream to go...

i thought i was lonly then. but it was perfect. qiuet, clean. healthy. for my brain, for my body. the only problem here is that this isent boston. my roomates are black, but only culturaly black. they are allways here, noticed messy, loud and smoking.

so actualy the news is old news.

flanger

i can hear the ebay winds calling me

lighitng concept by ouria tadmor all rights reserved

Ritualism

i cant stand religues rituals. especialy when they are stupid, offensive, intrusive of others lives and privacy. but they are always stupid. they are always intrusiev, and always bother other poeple who "dont belive in the lord haleluya!". israel is the most outspokengly religous secualr democracy in the world. thats why the most secualr poeple here allow for every single stupid jewish ritual to go unabrupted.

i want to buy food that no rabbi blessed, no sureme beeing autherzid and no jew will want to deal with or talk about. i want nothing to do with the israeli poeple. i want nothing to do with jews, or any other religion for that matter.

to be continued

there is a picture for this day, but its on the film camera. i swear.... yull get it, two days. tops. check me again later. i will be here with the picture.

A day without blood is like a day without Sunshine

a day

death in the form of life

yesterday was an ok day.

i managed alot, i felt qiute content. the same with monday. somthing was bound to happen. and now on the way to work it did.

i showed my ID to a security guar, with the excuse to myself that i was in hurry for work. what a dick i was. i should have stood my ground, i say to my self "next time ill kick ass". but i know i wount.

it makes me sad to see tess. it makes me sad to konw that i am washed up and washed over like the rest of them. i cant react in real life, what good am i? for what do i spend all my energy.

its time to submit and commit to the misery.

to cease and decist.

sevreal whitty titles

its they day the worlds stood still. its jobo day. the first 10 of 25 commisioned plates to be proccesed at the new baretta 9 labs in jerusalem are ready. the D76 pourd like wine.

other then that the shutter release button of the canon 30d is starting to messaround. i am yet to find out hat the problem really is.

my copmuter is so fucked i dont understand how its still working.

all that aside, yesterday, i talked tih america, twice and achived some goals at work. i felt alittle like an office worker with dutied and papers to be written. and i accomplished stuff that made me feel as if i did quite a bit. after all working with two new employes that have to be monitored every fucking second is not easy nor fun. winds are blowing at photoprisma, but i a certain that nothing will change anytime soon.

i dont want to stay here.

thursday the 20th of september (One day Three ryots, no disco)

one bus, ran a red light as i was crossing to get to work. the crossway was full of poeple and i ran after it. i banged in the windows untill the drver stopped and asked why i was so upset. i yelled that he had just run a red light and would have killed all those poeple (wich might not have been such a bad idea except for it beeing a motorvihechle felony). he said he was sory and that he appologyses, and that he saw all the poeple and that its fine. too bad he is going to live a long healthy fat life.

at lounch time a lady had refused to pay a Jaywalking ticket, and shuved away the police woman fining her. while the stunned police girl was trying to argew with the lady to stop a roit started from a crowed demanding the women be let go and not pay the fine. within about 5 minutes hundreds of poeple were standing in th zion square taunting the police banging in their patrol cars and yelling to let the women go and a bystander who had interveend in her behalf. by the time they were both arrested so many poeple had gatherd there the traffic on jaffa street, one of the main cities traffic rouuts had stoped.

at the entrance to the traffic unit of the police, the was a demo against a chikcen sloughter house located just aross the street. a bounch of teenagers, with loud sqeeky voices screamd their lungs of all about how chickens suffer too and that sins of jews cannot be washed away with the head of an innocent chicken. Yediot aharanots photographer, who was there got cought in the middle of the argument and sufferd a bottle of water to the head. he had started a fihgt with somenoe else. that was the main action there. what a god damm waste of energy. no one even knoew what the hell they were talking about.

its a zoo.

ouria said that on the way to rachels tomb a guy sitting next to him said "what is this a safari?" ofcourse it is, and he is sitting in the monkey cage ouria said.

thats it. a curcus, with no trpeeze atrists, just elephants with no tusks, other fat animals groaping about in the mud and alot of crazy untamed Animals runnig around. who the fuck wants to live here again?

two self portraits and an arest in broad day light.

wensday the 19th of september (Defamation)

infalmatory words dont have to start a fire, its enough if they make you think.

after you think too much you are ready to kill. ready to kill by power of will, unity and complete sence of fulfilment.

religius poeple make me sick. its funny to find nazis in israel. they are not some scared unassymilitaed russian youth, they are the rich, powerfull well educated, anglo saxon jews. they are the new modern version od nazism. they belive in racial discrimination, and natural selction. after all i always say we live in the jungel. we are full time real life safari. only we are not ON safari, we are in it. and the jews, the white brethern of jews, is the one chosen by god to rule the earth and its inhabitants, by god, time or highwater, they shall prevail. nothing will stand in their path, be it the best traind army of the only Democracy in the middle east, or the common sence of human beeing. but i forget all the time. we are not human. we have ne rights and desrve no mercy. we are animals, eathing out own shit and living in out own piss and vomit. they are not humans either. they are the super uber humans. elevated from all others.

say with me today -

jewland, jewland Uber Alles!

"ZIG HEIL!" she cryed...

ordenance

this blog is about obidienace, and tolerance.

what i was going to mentuon the other day but couldent consentrate about is that i was going to write about the connection between the zimbardo and milgram tests and the feeling poeple in israel have in conneciton wiht security gourds, armonrs cars and the such.

i hate the cevilian clothed armed israeli guards that each and every israeli flight termmial has in and out of israel. i can stand the over self importance these poersons adopt to themselves, and the way to go about and talk to other poeple as if they are super human beeings.. i cant stand the fact that they dont just do it for the monwy, they think they are saving the world and the nation with the work they do. they are stopping crimes as times are moing forward and they owe no man anything, exepct for the obligation they made to the security if the nations well beeing. the microphone whispering code talking blash headed or ponytalid stealth "unnoticed" security poeple. i hate the fact they assume that every body is speaks hebrew, and if someone is an arab he is a suicide bomeber and must not get on the flight no matter what. not unlles he lets them poke around his anus.

how quickly do we respomd favorly and understanigly to the open your bag where are you comming from questions, playing along wiht the security crazyness.. even with the more sublte hello and puase for accent check of your reply do we answer most clearly wiht our best israelized words. we hope that out "all is well" answer will go by as jewishly as huminly possible.

how easily do we conform wiht the needs of secureity to anyone wiht a badge that has his face on it, how smoothly do we want to make do with a police mans request to identify.

we live our security guards. we love the anoyance they cause us, we are sure they are only doing thier job. they are doing a just work, that is essential to our verry lives ans safty.

what else do we do? absolutly nothing. we sit back while "secureity reasons" are the justification for repedative murders, executions and comizeration of national scale. we love givng out security guards reasons to exist. just as doron said, after i told a youngster that joining the army is an OPTION, and is a bad hting all around, and does no one any good, but only bad things can derive of this action. i said that the army is the sole most major reason for the destruction if the israeli society, culture and humanism, he said that there wourldent have been a society if there wasent an army to secure it.

if that is the case maybe there shouldent have been a society in the first place.

wrting this blog makes me understand how my jusdgment might be impared when i am drunk. no more beers on week days.

modern times

the wave, its an irony tha onl a few days after my return from berlin i cought this glimps of the past. it was strange, that i was thinkning about just that play or book or movie or whathaveyou the other day. i never connected it to the study of obideiance and the connection to the nazi regime of the early 20th century. after the obligatory wikipedia and bio read, its was intresting to find the "the third wave" movment study employed by a history teacher in palo alto california in the winter of 1969. he was trying to nswer a question of one of his students, how could the nazis recrute so many "regular" poeple to commit atroceties in thier name, and simply to follow orders? the answer was overwhelming. what started as a class room experiment quicly grew to engulf the entire school, in a so called fiction youjt movment of superior idiology and sence of comunity. the experiment had to be cut short as it was getting out of hand. after anouncing a national rally in wich the supreme leader of the movemnt will reveal himself to the group, the teacher dispalyed a picture of adolf hitler. the exteme emotional stress in this group brought it to physical violence, and sadistic abuse of non members.

all this ofcourse is directly connected to the milgram experiments in wich a tet subject was order to administer electric shocks to other subject participating in the test (who were infact actors conforming with the test). they subjects would ask a question regarding memory tests, and for every wrong answer an electric in gradualy growing voltages, ranging from 5 all the way up to 450 volts, clearly a leather shock. the test would only be stopped or suspended if the test subject had reached the top shock level and used three times, or had displayed an exteme desire to leave. the study had shown that more the 65% had reached the leather range of the shocks, most of them with out much truble. the only insentive they had to shock a person to death was the order of an authoretative personality, directing them to do so. another connection is made to the my lai massecare in vietnam 1968, when a US army platton slaughterd 500 or so innocent poeple at a suspected Vietkong hide out, most of the killed were kids women and elderly poeple. these poeple were killed with automatic gun fire directed at groups of huddled poeple, with grandes thrown into the huts, some were gang raped and then stabbed to death, some bodies were mutilated and had the sign of the platton carved in to the chests of people. it is considerd a common historial fact the the night before the action, the commanding genaral issuing the attack order to officers, was asked weather to order to annihilate the enemy at this location included women children and animals, and clearly stated that it is to be carried out just so.

this study along side the zimbardo test, of a prison like situation have "frightning" conclusions arsing fom them. for most of us today, its probebly not as surprising the any ordinary common people are capable of such sadistic tendancies. i lost my point here. i just thought the blog should be informed of my knowledge accqiuerd today.

extreme emotional stress.

Berlin Mon Amore

latley, i guess, people listen less to what i have to say, i dont see it as a somthing personal about me but more of the way i understand my existance. i feel diffarent now after this time in berlin, and even though i did not see any nazis, skinheads or a porper swastika i still think i have a feeling thata is similar to what david bowie and iggy pop felt wat back when following in the footsteps of herion and chrisitiana F. i live in a zoo. the poeple here enjoy this zoo as long as they can comment on themsenvels to distingiush themsleves out of the rest. i spent 3 hours yesterday lechturing ouria. i dont even know what i was trying to say, or if at any point did i have a point to be made at all.

i have moved in to my house permantly for the first time in more then a year i feel like i live here, even though i hate this place. but yesterday it seemd as though i mivht just not mind staying here with all this shit, enclosed in the crowded apartment of my boss, but i guess as soon as i steped out the door it was all over. i can stay here for this amount of time only. breakfast. work. work work. and when i get home from work, some more work. the massive negaive reassemsnt project has begun.

pleasures ( A tribute to David Mammet)

somtimes i see that all the pressures in my life happen to come at the most expected and predicted times, and if only i had planned ahead for these events i might have not been subjectoed to them. however i always make plans, to do things, and thus i am always in the open for pressures to apear. i have not the ability to stand stll and also have to the power to create at the same time.

in the mean while, i am leaving for ten days. zen days un diotchland.

uber ales.

untill tommorow, good night from jerusalem.

i dont want to eat lunch

position

yesterday, as i was walkign into the corner masrket for my traditional breakfast of green tahina, a small fresh roll and choclate milk in a plastic bag, i noticed that thislittle store never has my preferd morning dip - the humus with a little spicy spot in the middle. i aked the guy behind the countr why they dont hold this particu;ar product and he said that the supplier somtimes delivers and sometimes not. "what kind of answer is that i aksed" and then realized that i am in the niddle east. i replied swiftly that he better start getting that humus or that supplier might start getting mail bombs. i common way of speech in these parts. the guy said" like the unabomber or somthing he was called right?" the unabomber i thought. yes like the unabomber.

the rest of that day was spent reading the biography of theory of theodore Kozcinsky, also known as the UnaBomber. the nuiversity and airline bomber. the FBI called him by these intials, U and A bomb. or for short the unabomb. it took them 26 years to catch kozcinsky, and even then there was no hard evidance to support the acusation that he was the unabomber ecpet for his sole giulty plea, wich he later retracted as beeing forced out of him. the man who earnd a masters in theoretical mathematics from harvard at the age of 20, and llater went on to be Phd and was a proffesor, solved numerous then uknown theories in advanced math and was considerd one of the brighter minds of the century. throuout his life kiscinsky sufferd social abuse and inacceptnace. he was also subjected to stress test in a psychologichal physiological behvioral study. this is thought to be the beginig of the breaking point of kascinsky.

a fwe years after reciving a job teaching at berkly, he resinegd his commision and moved out in to the woods of montanato live a life of naturalism and segregation. an artical titled "Industrial Society and Its Future" is associeted to him, even thogh it was never proven he had written nor did he adhere to that fact. the article is a distopian logical; study of the dangures in technology, the disaters that the industrial revolution had over scociety and so on. it is considerd that these theories and thoughts, led kascinsky to mail bomb computer sience proffesors, computer company oweners and so on. some answers from kascinskys mouth talk about why he attemped to destroy computer techs, but most of the victims have little or no connection to his ideas as stated in the essay. it was amazing to read all this stuff about kascinskys view of humanity and child making, and the actions and methodes he alegedly chose to use in order to fulfill himself and make is ideas real, and similar they are to hwo i see things and think about things or they way i see possible to fulfill them. the only thing is, that i guess ted kascinsky was utterly and completly crazy, a fucking nut case, and the fact that he needed to be such a nut case to reach this level of action and aggresion, is scary. what does it mean about me? if he was such a nut case and i think the same things as he does, does that mean i am a nut case as well? am i not controling my faculties properly? am i led by my insanity? i dont think so. but i i should say "that i am not led by my insanity, YET".

destination

it used to be that i thought that stupid poele are happier then others.

but now, i guess, it is that happy poeple are just stupid.