i looked at earlier posts, and have noticed that i used to write alot here. i was at prisma i had things on my mind. things that were public. thats how things are in israel, public. public works, public health, public orgenisers, and more then anything public private affairs. it so happens, that nothing really happens to me here, nothing that warents proper descussion, in a public way. things do happen, thats true, they are arguments, with purpose or just plain bickering and they are usualy chanled away from me or in to a private space.
the other things i noticed, is that i used to love the pictures on this blog, admire them in a way that i felt confidence that when i show them to somone i am showing him good pictures of cool things, but now, i feel that i am meerly offfering exiting stories of far away lands and strange cultures, but with little or now esthetic value on their own. this is bad. because they are alot of bad pictures. and alot of many bad pictures on the same page\post. why did i not see this before? why did i think they were cool at the time? when i look at real photographers blogs, i see talent, carisma and other things, along side great fucking pictures, awsome compositions, great colors, sharpness and blurriness when needed and not when they just happend to come acroos, total control. i used to think som of those things or even all of them about my blog, but i dont any more. it pails in comparison. a void of a dilitant mind. just like what i really am.
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