the 5 year itch

I took this picture about 5 years ago. i can remmeber almost everything about taking that photo. i remmeber exactly where on newburry street it was, and what the other kids were doing. out of the the three that were there i remained in contact with this girl in the photo. she is one of only a handfull of poeple i photographed and was able to stay in contact with. i hind sight that is what i was really interested in more then anything, to make friends and meet new popele. sure if the pictures came out good and had value that was good, and at that time i was able to make lots of sharp crisply defined photos and present them along ideas that were just as badly defined as my ideas in relation to my photos are today.
She was in boston today and dropped by with her boyfriend. she is in the army now. 5 years is a long time. we had some bears and talked. i am not sure why but along with other occurences of the same type i had my camera gear with me and thought about taking a picture but knowingly i just dident. i hate my self for not taking that picture that would have had so much value of time materialism, and essence over substance kind of thing, but still i dident. its just plain stupid. but perhaps this is part of somthing i have been feeling on and off for a long time, this kind of loss of connection to what i am actually doing.

Snow covers the world now. the snow, the photos i dident take and other things remind me of stuff that happened long ago and have no consequenses to my life in the NOW. they are all parts of things i cant seem to get over, convictions that have proven to be wrong and still i feel i am right in my errors.