radiation (light amplification)

beer makes me happy. large quanteties of beer endorse large amount of happiness.i wish i could do it all. hop around and do 5 beers at five diffarent bars. i wish i was in america. i wish poeple would noticeme when i am not trying tto be noticed.tess makes me sad. i dont even know why now. especialy after i am calm and showerd and not hot sweaty and tierd. and drunk. but not realy becasue i cant really get drunk here. tess is never cool to be around after a few beers and ouria dosent drink mopre then two beers anymore.i want to go wild lay it all out and have it all hit me ion the face in the morning. i wish lux would go along wiht me. i feel llike its sicial exploring. like i was doing wiht katrin in NYC. i guess its exiting to kiis someone new every other week and have a new person to kinda get to know and talk about and feel good about even itmight not be the thing and have poeple play mudical chairs in the seat thats always somehow situated just next to the one you are sitting in. that sucks. poeple make me sad. some poeple make me happy but then in th end they make me so upset it dosent matter i happned to eet some verry nice pople in this or that partucualr day. i dont know whats worsw, the fact i worte this blog three times today, once in the morning when i was thinkknig about the meaning if this blog and then again in the belfast but iu have maged to forget all of those great polizer awarding ideas for text and so i have to erite thisd again. its strange to think that now more the two poeplei know are reading this blog i shoudl invest more thought in to it and that it might have more meaning if somoene actual reads it moreover than the initial thought that someone "might" or could read it, stumble across it in the endless seas of shit there are out there and mostly becasuse its not about the words but about the picture a day. shit i think its turning aroudn and fuckign me up. now i remme ber why i called me final exhibition for bezalel "a tribute to three hpotographers" they were moti ovadia, who is now in combat activity in the teritories and i never thohgti i wouldbe so worried about somthing as hos wellbeeing there. tervor powers and a thord unkonw entity that tends to change every other month or so. but noe it isent.

i hate news. i hate news when it comes in huge loads. and i hate it most when it is news i have to deal with, news that has to do wiht me often comes in large streams of multiple hapenings that hit all at once after a huge qiuet lowdownpeacfulluneventfull (thats german for a big nothing) time. well it prbebly lasts not longer then five minutres still its seems like an eternity and then all rises. spanish polish french from romania who happens to be in jerusalem. give me a fucking break. or dont. break me, bring it on, do your worst i aint wating around for no more.