new.

four finger discount

direct

assetation

kilo xray two do you wish to declare an emergency?

more mayday in boston, 2010.

moderation

more things. more things.

Die Antwoord were in boston

Die Antwoord are larger than life.

sections

every day i learn new things about my self.
this week was full of this. so many things i cant even write about. i am an asshole and at the same time a good guy. i am trying real hard to be accepted and still be my self. i have less and less time for my self less and less time for work wich i already had verry little time for.
thats cats yawning twice.

paranoia

of all the places, we live in boston for good or bad. i had so many revelations about my work and my place in the world, that since i have them have proven to be all wrong and new ideas took their place. i am not so sure about what i am doing anymore. i am liking what i do which is good. some things are slower then others. i wish i could devote my self to just one thing. but if i did i would have found out like i always do that there is no one thing i am actually good at in a way the commands devoting my entire attention to (except for tess). and them i would just be feeling like i am wasting time by not doing those other things.

Screws

working full time is hard. on one hand i am enjoying almost every second of work. i am learning how to do things every day and i am getting a hold of things. time flies by when i am there, even though sometimes its rough. i can only think about the endless days at the other place i worked at when i used to stare at the watch like a bored school kid just aching for the day to end so i can go home and play and fool around (wich i never did). i think that today the way i see it is that when i worked at prisma this is the kind of fun i had. i never had any days in prisma where i waited for the clock to tick past the closing hour so i can go home. there was always somthing to do that i did or wanted to do. this is good. also i make money. but the making money is the problem. first i though that making money means that i can buy all the stuff i wanted but can afford right now like a big screen tv. then i thought who had time to watch tv if you work 40 hours a week + 2 days of school and photograph and process and scan? then i thought about the cut throat antics of working on a commission with no real salary.
its a slimy business and every one looses in the end. i dont like this part of what i do. i need to fuck poeple over to get paid. and if i make the money honestly i cant help but feel the greed rolling up my veins and i know this is where my mothers voice echoes when she says that one should not be greedy and I of all poeple should not be greedy at all. greed is a bad thing and it drives me mad, and drives me to all the wrong places. i want to eat it all and have it all no matter how i feel after.  i am managing to eat less and more organized but i can control my nightly bloody money lust.
riding the boston subway system is a strange thing. one the one had it is small and short and mostly works ok. it feels like a family commute rather then a bustling rapid moving city like the NYC sub. but then it is stupidly over crowded in rush hours, to the point that this morning 2 poeple fainted today while the red line train was stopped at downtown crossing. the jews had it easier to get to the camps i tell you. on the way back both the red line and orange line were stopping randomly along the way in between stations, i guess to make room for traffic ahead of them. all in all the trip probably took the same amount of time but felt like it took hours. so i guess they cant run more trains in rush hour because they would simply get caught in some tunnel traffic and have to slow down even more. if the capacity of the system is less then the demand it might be that all those theories about induced demand and traffic patterns are not exactly always true.
also alot of poeple ride the T with open shoes or flip flops. i discovered that other poeples town disgust me and make me sick.

material fatigue

today i went photographing. i went early in the morning and found that almost all of the things i wanted to photograph were behind trees, or in some place i could not reach. on the way home i saw an Ikea Sofa in a yard sale for 30$. only catch was it dident all fit in the car. i also had to run and get some money, so  that i could get it before someone else who also wanted it. i managed to stuff some of it in the car, and said i will come back for the rest. by the time i had loaded it all up i was all done with shooting and i was hot, wet and sweating in the crazy humidity and not so great AC in our car. of course i took the GPS advice on how to get home from this far away town where i had planned to shoot, but it ended up being a super long way through traffic. it also started clouding up and a little drizzle when we were unloading the first load of sofa parts.
i drive right back and got the rest. as soon as i got in to the car the right got so hard i could not see where i was going. from that point on it only got harder and harder and thicker rain. puddles started forming on the road and in any case i could not see where i was going. i got to the place and waited a few more minuted for the rain to pass. this time i took the better way home, that i knew to be shorter, from waltham, through belmont, to cambridge then boston and home to JP. the rain was so hard the almost all the roads i drive through were either flooded, or the side of the road where poeple parked was swept away buy the water. the asphalt was torn and shredded all the way through belmont. some of the cars had sunk in to the where the ashpalt gave way. at cambridge, they have buses that run on electric wires like a trolley, and one of those lines had snapped and was lying across the street with fire fighters directing the traffic. around memorial drive the side street were all flooded, some of the card were half way in the water.

the sofa is the right color, and on its own looks real nice, but dosent entirely fit in our living room dining room. the futon has moved to the study and fits well. we still need to work on the sofa arrangement.

work work work concept made me think twice about how much i can work, and stressed me out a bit. then i realized that at the end of the day i am working towards something that one day when i have it and i can kick my feet up, i will say, i worked knee deep in shit and guts to get where i am. once i had 3 jobs and when to school. and maybe it will even be worth it.

yesterday i developed a film from the nikon 35ti, most of wich is for the daily frame project. at some point during using this film it had rewound in the camera and i shot over most of it double exposures. this is a disaster. it is the first time any daily frame material was lost in the 5 years i have been doing it. i am not sure why i am not so disturbed about it. maybe because i knew this had happened before developing the film, and i had a chance to fix this but dident and it was completely my fault, or because i i know there is nothing i can do about it, those images are lost forever and thats that. it still sucks and i wish i had them, some of those were really good pictures.

recaps

i have left my first american work place after only being there a few weeks. on my last day of work, i really started thinking about the fact that i was just like all the rest, one of those poeple who drive in to work in a car, alone. all those grid locks, traffic jams, all the result of urban sprawl, and i was a part of it, big time.
i guess it was better to figure this out just one day before starting to commute to work by train, rather then 3 years after the fact.
my new work place is different. different from what i knew in israel and surely different from what i learned here.
i have a buttoned up black cotton logo sales shirt, that is impeccably ironed. i have a name tag. i make commissions. i work for a big corporation. i am yet another step closer to my american dream.
i must got out and photograph something this weekend, otherwise i will be a total looser.
work is should be fun. work should be somthing you want to do a place you want go with poeple you want to meet. i think that in prisma in israel i met a new family. at my previuos work place here, one of the more senior workers tried to be more liked by the boss so she addopted him and the office manager as her store perants. even as a joke it was fake. this is a general problem with americans and hence also the american dream. alot of it is based in fake things, kinda like cheesy cheapo chinese immitations of real products. you can tell the chinese guy who worked on them tried hard to make something real but all he can do is a fake. here the original is fake. so what is real?

dont get me wrong, israel of course is just a place with really terrible people. real bad reality is not better then a so so fake one.

if not now then when?

M. Ovadia originals in our kitchen/living room. there could not be anything better to put on a wall.
A master of photography.

If not me then who?

Imacon is here. while looking for some promo photos of this company, i cam across some text from an about us page of the Philadelphia community college photo dept. from this photo you can clearly see that they run the imacon on a PC, windows based computer. in another photo from the same lab, you can see the XP logo screensaver in the background. as simple as that. mac sucks. sane poeple use a PC.

starting