conceptually fallible design

I got fired. i got caught doing somthing i shouldent have done.my penance is useless since i failed to act in real time to avoid the implications of my actions. i am kinda like tom cruise in top gear who wrote checks with his mouth his body couldent cover, i needed to realize and liquefy collateral i had in possession but had no moral value to sustain it with. it does not matter. i have dealt with much more then i can imagine anyone else has, after all i am a small person with little in a big world with big money. bottom line - i suck. i could have done better but i did not, and now i am right back where i started.