daylight

i am not keeping up to my promises.
even thoug i try verry hard i am still niviolved in bullshit i dont care about and want nothing to do with. like stupid jew-nazi hebron settlers and other nonsence.
i am still being introduced by others as the israeli guy, and evenwhen introduce my self i find it hard to avoid that fact. yes i am achamed by it, and i wish i could give it up completly.
i went to an international students party the other day, and i saw a guy, obviusly not like me but that ha dalot to say about israel as where he is from and it was porbely the center fo alot of his conversation. i find that i myself look at the difarences andpoint them out verry often, but i am doing this less and less. i do care about the difarences, but this is who i am, this where i am. this what i am now. i wish i could really be this. my fingers are too cold to type properly.