the killing of a dead man

there comes a time, when a guy, even a pretty nice guy, or even an ok guy, or one thats not so bad at all, who does somehitng, just a thing, that should have no consequences whatso ever, and ends up getting beat up fucked over and pissed on. i am not a pretty nice guy, or and ok or what ever, poeple tell em i complain alot, and i think that now i have all the reasons in the world to do so. we all konw that the world is a fucked up shitty place and still we live out our lives and feel fine. but i dont feel fine. i feel like shit. and the reason i feel ike this is probebly the helpless feeling i have accompanied by a unilateral and complete surender. what can i do against, well, not even the serius ills of the world i see, but the small ones. wha can i do against the single stupid person standing infront of with out whome my day would have been much better, and my emotional collpase would have been delayed dome. what can i do against luck\faith\karma\destiny? even though "i belive in nosing" i am postive by now that all the shit that happens has already been planned, just like in assimoved institutes. its all written down somwhere. and no one knows why or where its going, but tis going there. for me, i know where its all going. its going down mother fucker. there will be no going back from this position. if i made more money and worked less hpours i might have said ehh.. i can fix this fix that, but i just konw that f that were the case the things i would deal with would be equivalant to the situation. i feel and huge urge to fgell bad for my self but at the same time i feel like since there is nothigni can do about it i should let it go, an i should thank ouria for part of this. but i dont know if this si the right thing to do. i think that after all i shgould drive as fast as i can, i should start runnig red lights, i should not hold back when talking to poeple - especialy when i want to get in to a fight wiht them. camera no camera fuck tthe camera. fuck them all. i hate israelis. i wish thoy would all just die already and leave me alone. if i could lvie my life the way iwant to with out having to feel ike a crimilar, wiht out having to fear for the stuff that keeps around all the time i wouldent want to kill my self so badly.